What would you recommend my son do to learn how to defend himself?

My neighbor asked me this question recently and it is difficult to explain in a few sentences just "recommend" a course that will provide him the answer he seeks. Hear is the truth of this, his perceptions brought to the table when the question was asked colors his ability to accept the complex and very long answer I was tempted to throw at him. I then stopped myself, became mindful of the emotion that trigger this impulsive response, took out the story related to that emotion, and then finally spoke from a logical perspective.

What would I recommend, I started by saying that he might want to study the legal and moral ramifications to fighting first. I also mentioned that he must also find out the psychological effects which would last a life time that his son WILL have to deal with if he gets into a fight. I was focusing a bit more on the view of a school yard scuffle, i.e. acting in a bullying situation, etc.

I felt those two items would open his eyes a bit more yet I also feel that due to the ego driven machismo attitudes driven by testosterone survival hunter-warrior instincts provided by mother nature, DNA and the male genes he would fixate on learning the ultimate techniques guaranteed to provide all the defense you will ever need in life type programs.

In the end he pretty much ignored my advice and enrolled his son into a Korean system that from my analysis was "sport oriented" with a bit of self defense rhetoric thrown in for good sales/measure. He in a short time has already achieved a colored belt.

This just reminds me how hard it is to change someone's mind once they have "accepted" something as truth and the way of things. After all it is much easier to just take a class, learn a few techniques, and then set your mind into a comfort zone that says I can handle any situation if it comes up. The best thing about this, if there is truly a silver lining in every cloud, is that in all likelihood his son, in this case, will never actually encounter a truly violent attack. Yes, he may be exposed to a school yard scuffle or a bullying session but because he is fairly athletic and well liked at school I doubt it will happen.

Regardless, it got me to thinking so I went to my sources on Self Defense and came up with some questions I would want to see answered from any instructor of a self-defense program.

Questions to pose regarding Self-Defense:

1. Do you instruct participants as to what is violence?
2. Do you instruct participants as to what are the medical/mental ramifications to violent acts?
3. Do you instruct participants as to what are the legal ramifications to violence?
4. Do you instruct participants so they can recognize environmental and human conditions that indicate violence or possible violence?
5. Do you instruct participants so they can recognize the stages that lead to actual physical violence-altercations-fighting-predatory violence, etc.?
6. Do you instruct participants as to the definition of self defense?
7. Do you instruct participants as to the legal definition and requirements of self defense?
8. Do you instruct participants so they know and can apply "people skills?"
9. Do you instruct participants as to a life style self analysis regarding their possible exposure to violence, violent environments, etc.?
10. Do you instruct your participants that physical applications of self defense should be the absolute last resort?
11. Do you instruct your participants that the physical end of self defense is also the most unreliable of responses?
12. Does instruction focus more on the "options" that would prevent you from ending up in any violent situation that would require physical responses?
13. Do you instruct on those behaviors, the participants behaviors, that lead to violence, i.e. will result in your escalating it vs. deescalating it?
14. Do you instruct on the difference between self defense and fighting?
15. Do you instruct that it is not a matter of winning or losing but two persons who will both be arrested and if you are the winner you will be arrested?
16. Do you instruct the participants that involvement in any violence will have life long effects, both physical but mostly psychological?
17. Do you instruct the participants that in reality "most people" cannot apply effective self defense techniques in a crises?
18. Do you instruct the participants that the adrenaline dump caused in a crises can only be overcome through specific and ongoing training, it is not a matter of take a few classes and then assume it will work when needed?
19. Do you instruct the participants in the ability to communicate correctly regarding self defense with police and defending your actions in a court of law?
20. Do you instruct the participants in their responsibility for their words/actions, i.e. see manners, etc.?
21. Do you instruct the participants or at least introduce participants to the concepts of the behaviors that "lead up to" violence?
22. Do you instruct the participants as to where they can continue their research into the concepts of behaviors leading to violence? laws? psychological ramifications, etc.?
23. Do you instruct the participants that research, education, analysis, and seeking legal/expert advice/instruction, etc. is an ongoing process much like education, i.e. it is continuous for life?
24. Do you instruct the participants that is is their responsibility to seek legal advice as to Self defense before taking a self-defense program or before completing said program? Is this a requirement/prerequisite to the programs attendance/completion?
25. Do you instruct the participants as the difference between "lethal" vs. "non-lethal" force?

I am still coming up with questions and in all likelihood most courses of self-defense will not be able to answer them or they will skirt the questions with sales pitches that promote their ultimate programs.

I just am very thankful that in today's world unless you choose or are born into environmentally proven violent conditions you will never have to deal with the truth of it. You can rest in your comfort zone with less than a one percent chance you will encounter the need to defend in a violent encounter. Not my expert guess but one derived from my expert sources.